I threw them out

Well today marks the start of a new goal for me. I’m going to be attempting to quit smoking (again) today… .I’ve smoked on and off from the age of 16 and honestly I **HATE** it but it seems that I always get drawn back. Sometimes from stress other times its that I just slip up when I’m around a group of friends that have a smoker. It just seems no matter the reason I always go back.

Last year I had to watch my father-in-law suffer through the end stages of Lung Cancer before dying from that awful disease. I witnessed the huge pain and his daily doses of morphine. I swear it was enough to knock out a horse. His psychosis at the end, as he relived his life from adulthood backward to his years as a child was probably the hardest to watch and hear. He was only 56 and cigarettes played a major part in his death.

I don’t want to end like that. *I* want to be around to watch my children get married, graduate from college, play with my grandchildren, so many things that I want to do. Being the spouse of someone with Type 1 Diabetes it is somewhat of a miracle that I have two such healthy beautiful girls, I can’t risk the future because of a vice that I can’t even stand.

My friends I’m sure have noticed this is a friends only post, alot of mine aren’t but this one I feel needs to be … Its an intensely personal and hard thing for me to do to admit that I’m not perfect (While I know I have many flaws how often do *I* admit them?) … As my friends I ask for your encouragement and help is trying this again… The longest that I’ve gone to date without smoking is 6 months. I would so love to make this time a permanent quit.



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5 responses to “I threw them out

  1. Wanting to quit is more than half the battle. You can definately do it! My hubby, a close friend and I all quit on December 31st of 2004 and have managed to stay off the habit so far…unfortunately, we’ve smoked a few cloves here and there lately because of some stress that’s come along, but those don’t have nicotine so there aren’t any urges in between (just nasty cough! *cough cough*)
    Good luck!

  2. Sorry for the hasty answer & exit at lunchtime. I was out with my mom and it was just.. nutty.
    I wont say more about your quitting smoking except a very loud, resounding “YAY!” but I will add that I know what you mean. I’ve been thinking a lot about similar stuff, and I need to make a serious life change of my own for my own health.
    Amazing what kids’ll do to yah…
    I know you can do this. Just keep in mind what you’ve written every time you think about smoking. Somehow, keeping a visual of the worst case scenario happening usually strengthens willpower.
    Sorry again about the phone call earlier, but know you CAN call any time. 🙂

  3. congratulations on your decision. i know from multiple failed attempts that it will not be easy but if anyone can do it you can. perhaps i can “glob on”(as i seem to be good at that or so i’m told) to your positive attitude and quit myself. goth knows it would save money and blech if it doesn’t smell and taste horrid. now all i have to do is get chris to quit too. sigh.
    at any rate, i’m exceptionally proud of you.:)

  4. Yeah I can tell I can call anytime .. uh huh …
    <– Brushed off *SNIFF*

  5. Consider yourself encouraged, sugar 🙂
    And no, I don’t hate you *grin* I’ve hardly been at the puter. I am literally buried in work on a deadline from hell. I just finished up after 5 days and 60+ hours (yes, including the weekend). But I’m finished now! *dance*

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