Well today marks the start of a new goal for me. I’m going to be attempting to quit smoking (again) today… .I’ve smoked on and off from the age of 16 and honestly I **HATE** it but it seems that I always get drawn back. Sometimes from stress other times its that I just slip up when I’m around a group of friends that have a smoker. It just seems no matter the reason I always go back.
Last year I had to watch my father-in-law suffer through the end stages of Lung Cancer before dying from that awful disease. I witnessed the huge pain and his daily doses of morphine. I swear it was enough to knock out a horse. His psychosis at the end, as he relived his life from adulthood backward to his years as a child was probably the hardest to watch and hear. He was only 56 and cigarettes played a major part in his death.
I don’t want to end like that. *I* want to be around to watch my children get married, graduate from college, play with my grandchildren, so many things that I want to do. Being the spouse of someone with Type 1 Diabetes it is somewhat of a miracle that I have two such healthy beautiful girls, I can’t risk the future because of a vice that I can’t even stand.
My friends I’m sure have noticed this is a friends only post, alot of mine aren’t but this one I feel needs to be … Its an intensely personal and hard thing for me to do to admit that I’m not perfect (While I know I have many flaws how often do *I* admit them?) … As my friends I ask for your encouragement and help is trying this again… The longest that I’ve gone to date without smoking is 6 months. I would so love to make this time a permanent quit.